Once Upon A Sewer
by sabra jaguar
Summary: Raphael doesn't know what to make of a newcomer to the sewers. First person Raphael POV.


Hi! This story had been demanding me to write it ever since I saw Giselle come into New York through the sewers in the movie Enchanted. Just a cute little "what if" in Raphael's POV. Thanks to Mikell, for beta-reading, offering helpful suggestions for writing Raph's accent, and for just being awesome!

Disclaimer: I am under no delusions that I own any of these characters or that I should receive money for writing about them. The delusions I am operating under are entirely different.

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A lotta weird stuff winds up in the New York sewer system. Me and my brothers have seen it all; softballs lost down sewer grates, handbags dumped by purse snatchers after all the good stuff's taken out, and you got no idea how many flushed pets we see down here. I mean, is a baby alligator worth goin' through the hassle if you're gonna end up flushin' it anyways? And then, of course, there's us, and we ain't exactly what the sewers are built for, either. But we done our best to make it home, and we get real territorial when it comes to where we live. 'Cause humans come down here too.

We first met April down here, when we saved her from Stockman's mouser things. Now and then we run across the occasional sewer or construction worker, or teenagers doin' stuff they shouldn't, and we got real good at avoidin' them. The whole "becomin' one with the shadows" ninja thing, ya know? And then Casey comes down and hangs out wit' us every now and then. But none a them people was anything like this crazy chick I run across tonight…

I was just headin' to da nearest manhole cover to go topside, mindin' my own business, and this lady just...showed up right there, outta nowhere. Nearly scared me outta my shell, and ya know, I don't scare easy. Here's where Mikey'd be getting up in my face, sayin' she appeared by "magic" and be makin' some stupid "mystical" hand gestures, and I'd be whappin' him over da head for it, but I don't got a better explanation for how she got there. (None a this gets back to Mikey. I mean it. It's his life on the line, here.)

Anyway, there she was, in this puffy-lookin' dress and her hair all fixed up wit' this little crown-lookin' thing in it, lookin' like a princess that got real lost on da way to da ball. I didn't have anywhere to hide, and was just getting ready for the screamin' and faintin' routine to start, but instead she just gave this little gasp, like she was just surprised, not scared outta her mind to see me. I don't know. Maybe she just run into the White Rabbit earlier.

She said, "Oh, excuse me, I seem to have gotten lost," (Lady, that was an understatement) and she did this little curtsey thing, like talking to a five foot walking turtle was somethin' she did all da time. Prob'ly when she wasn't havin' tea wit' da Queen. The "Could you help me, kind sir," was what really threw me off, though.

So, this lady was clearly off her rocker. Lookin' for her Prince in the New York sewer system? Yeah, high class all da way down here. But I couldn't just let her wander the sewers or nuttin', so I told her I'd get her to the surface where some human could show her where to go. Besides, even wit' all Donny's gadgets and stuff protectin' the Lair, you can never be too sure what's gonna happen. I didn't want her accidentally findin' somethin' she shouldn't. Or on purpose, for that matter. Not that she looked like anyone da Shredder would send to hunt us down, but who knows when he might decide to try somethin' new.

So I showed her the nearest manhole, climbed up after her to make sure she got up there okay, and got thanked and gushed all over by Giselle, which is what she said her name was. Then for some reason she told me not to worry about how I looked, that she just knew that someday my princess would come along an' break this spell I was under wit' a true love's kiss. Uh...yeah. Whatevah. Ain't no handsome prince under this shell, lady. Go tell Mikey them fairy tales. He likes a good bedtime story.

For some reason, though, I couldn't just leave her all alone in New York City. Nutty as she was, there's people out there a lot more crazy, not to mention more dangerous and just waitin' to get their hands on someone as unsuspectin' as she was. Sendin' her up there alone woulda been like throwin' her to da wolves and that just went against all Master Splinter's ever taught me. But then, so would getting seen, so I tailed her from da rooftops just to make sure she got where she was goin' okay. Sure enough, the crazy chick no sooner found herself someone to help her, and he wound up snatchin' that crown thing outta her hair an' runnin' off with it. She tried chasin' him down but couldn't catch him. Good thing I tagged along, huh. Didn't take too much convincin' for me to make that old guy give it up. 'Course, ya know I asked him real polite.

I went back to hunt her down and give it back to her, but she wandered off while I was off playin' turtle in shinin' armor. By da time I found her again it was rainin', I was freezin' my shell off, and it looked like she found some people who actually would help her out. I think I'm just gonna drop her tiara in da mail and consider my good deed done. Lotsa luck, Giselle. Welcome to New York. Hope ya find yer prince.

Maybe I oughtta drop in on Casey while I'm up here. The two of us ain't been out bustin' heads in a while, and I thought I saw some PD's actin' suspicious in fronta that one jewelry store…Yeah, that sounds like my kind of happy endin'.


End file.
